Mmmh...most mornings when I wake up, after my quiet time with God, I silently pray I don’t get angry or start bickering at my teenage son as my day starts. Honestly speaking, I don’t know if teenagers go to bed with the plan to wake up the next morning to exasperate their sometimes overly sensitive mothers!
I sometimes wish I didn’t have to go through these teenage years with my son who is fourteen right now, and changing rapidly, physically, emotionally and psychologically in every sense of the word. One minute he makes me laugh uncontrollably, and then the next minute he’s done something annoying which I’m yelling about. A lot of times I can actually feel my blood pressure rising and falling dramatically, as I play out the script of motherhood with my teenage son.
Don’t get me wrong, I love him with all my heart. He is a very smart, highly intelligent, talented and creative human being whom God has created. But sometimes, it’s difficult to keep up with his growth and developmental trends. And this is why I mentioned in my previous articles, that as a single mum, you need all the help you can receive from the Holy Spirit to give direction, and help you navigate these turbulent years with your teens.
I have put to work the help of God in child rearing for the past fourteen years, and it’s been an amazing but challenging journey so far. Yet I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a mother, a status I wouldn’t otherwise trade for anything in the world!
So how do we go about the teenagers in our lives? First of all, I am learning the art of patience. It’s a long walk but I’m determined to get there because I ‘m in this race for the next five years or so. Yelling or getting angry sometimes causes more tension than you’d want or like. The effective way is to sit and talk to him or her often, especially during prayer and devotional times, when you pray together as a family. As you do that often, you find that your message gradually sinks in to them, even if sometimes it seems you’re just wasting your time talking. Believe me, it feels like that most times. But if you will keep doing that, you will be surprised at the good reports you will begin to receive from class and school teachers; and also sudden changes in behavior and character you will begin to observe. That doesn’t mean you don’t punish them when they cross their boundaries. If they disobey orders or instructions, they should be punished with the rod or by grounding.
Secondly, have a day separate to spend with them. If you have more than one teen, have and spend separate days with each of them. That way, you will develop a lasting bond that will transcend all times. This is something I do every week with my son. We either play games, cards, or go out to eat or the movies together depending on what he wants to do and my financial buoyancy at the time. I give him the liberty of suggesting what he wants us to do. Sometimes, we just sit and talk, laugh and make jokes. As you do that, their confidence level in you rises, and they are able to confide in you about anything.
I sometimes wish I didn’t have to go through these teenage years with my son who is fourteen right now, and changing rapidly, physically, emotionally and psychologically in every sense of the word. One minute he makes me laugh uncontrollably, and then the next minute he’s done something annoying which I’m yelling about. A lot of times I can actually feel my blood pressure rising and falling dramatically, as I play out the script of motherhood with my teenage son.
Don’t get me wrong, I love him with all my heart. He is a very smart, highly intelligent, talented and creative human being whom God has created. But sometimes, it’s difficult to keep up with his growth and developmental trends. And this is why I mentioned in my previous articles, that as a single mum, you need all the help you can receive from the Holy Spirit to give direction, and help you navigate these turbulent years with your teens.
I have put to work the help of God in child rearing for the past fourteen years, and it’s been an amazing but challenging journey so far. Yet I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a mother, a status I wouldn’t otherwise trade for anything in the world!
So how do we go about the teenagers in our lives? First of all, I am learning the art of patience. It’s a long walk but I’m determined to get there because I ‘m in this race for the next five years or so. Yelling or getting angry sometimes causes more tension than you’d want or like. The effective way is to sit and talk to him or her often, especially during prayer and devotional times, when you pray together as a family. As you do that often, you find that your message gradually sinks in to them, even if sometimes it seems you’re just wasting your time talking. Believe me, it feels like that most times. But if you will keep doing that, you will be surprised at the good reports you will begin to receive from class and school teachers; and also sudden changes in behavior and character you will begin to observe. That doesn’t mean you don’t punish them when they cross their boundaries. If they disobey orders or instructions, they should be punished with the rod or by grounding.
Secondly, have a day separate to spend with them. If you have more than one teen, have and spend separate days with each of them. That way, you will develop a lasting bond that will transcend all times. This is something I do every week with my son. We either play games, cards, or go out to eat or the movies together depending on what he wants to do and my financial buoyancy at the time. I give him the liberty of suggesting what he wants us to do. Sometimes, we just sit and talk, laugh and make jokes. As you do that, their confidence level in you rises, and they are able to confide in you about anything.
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